lifers

facebook is constantly suggesting friends for me.  girls, guys, people i have nothing in common with, people i have everything in common with, it is random - based only on a common clump of mutual friends that have also made it through my skimpy friend selecting process.  i wish in real life there was something to let you know who the good friends were going to be.  which ones are going to be there for you when you have a bad day, set you up with that perfect guy, babysit your kids when you need a night out, tell you to throw away those jeans that you’ve had for 5-years and are oh-so-comfy and oh-so-not-in-style? which ones are the lifers?

lifers are hard to come by, harder to detect, and sometimes take a little bit of work to keep.  but in the end, there is that connection that is unbreakable, that means no matter how many birthday’s missed, when you pick up the phone it will be business as usual, as if no time at all had passed.  they are the ones who you think to call when that arbitrary thing happens in your life that reminds you of a laugh you shared together when you were in college, the ones that actually tells you how their life is really going, as opposed to how they pretend it is with other people.  

the ones that i miss dearly right now as i am surrounded daily by momenters, who i have little in common with except my relationship status on facebook. 

cheesy onion green bean casserole

as a rehabilitated control freak, i am not one who knew a lot about “letting go”. i might have had to control my first kiss - and dot dot dot breakups; even my diary was written with my future grandchildren in mind.  however, as i get older i find myself simply not caring about things as much as i used to.  call it an exasperated, hands-in-the-air- giving up, but i am forfeiting to life.   i have stopped trying to wrap it up in a silver box and recognized that it is a shabby cardboard box (perfect for fort-making).  and i think much of it is due to the fact that my life is nothing like i planned, or wanted really.  now some of you may be shaking your heads (but your life is what you make it!). But it isn’t.  in fact, this life is nothing like i made it.  i feel like i whipped all of the right ingredients for a delicious chocolate cake, and ended up taking an cheesy onion green bean casserole out of the oven (yuck).  not to say that i don’t like it, or would trade it.  but along my road of trips and falls and detours i somehow ended in a place that i don’t recognize.  a place that i can’t control.  so with that comes the next step.  shortly followed by the realization that life is as chaotic and unpredictable as a torrential rainstorm in the middle of august, you give in.  you let go.  you find the prettiest place setting you can find, grab a fork, and dig in to your feast.